Below are pictures of the 500+ victims of political violence staying in MDC's headquarters - which, as most offices are, are intended for office work, not as a boarding house. However, after being beaten, threatened, chased and burned out of their homes, many of these individuals fled to Harare with no where else to go but the MDC headquarters. Many were separated from the rest of their families, many narrowly escaping death, and when narrowly escaping death, one's first instinct is to get out, to survive, and get to safety as quickly as possible, seeking out the particulars of their family's whereabouts was a luxury few of them had. To get to Harare, some walked from their rural homes, some found public transportation that would take them, as some drivers were ordered not to pick up injured individuals, some found compassionate individuals that would take them to hospitals, or into the city center.
Broken, despondent, and in great pain, these individuals would arrive at the MDC headquarters, as many as 50 - 60 a day, seeking assistance and safety. However, they would soon notice that both of these needs could not be fully attended to by the MDC. This did not happen due to the MDC's neglect; most volunteers and employees stayed day and night at the offices trying to figure the situation out; many slept there with the survivors; working as long as 15 hours a day. They simply did not have the facilities or the infrastructure to deal with so vast a crisis.
In the realms of safety, MDC headquarters was not the first choice. The MDC headquarters were in constant threat of a raid; at any moment all inhabitants could be arrested for no reason, with no warrant, for doing nothing wrong but trying to save their lives, and aligning themselves with the MDC, that was their major crime. In prison the individuals could face any level of interrogation and possibly, though it did not happen very often, torture. So these individuals are not safe in their own homes, are beaten, have lost their children, their homes, all their worldly possessions, go to the city for safety and are in constant threat of being abducted or arrested at any moment. Therefore, these individuals are still living in constant fear, uncertainty and instability.
Once one is able to settle in a little bit, they are often very hungry; having spent days trying to get to Harare and escape from Zanu PF. When they arrive they do receive food, however only once a day, as there is an MP in the city and fellow party members that come and serve food. I talked with one individual who was a diabetic, and did not have enough money to pay for his insulin or to even buy enough food to have a full stomach when taking the insulin. I read a letter written to the MDC by the Avenues clinic urging him to get a steady supply of insulin and a regular supply of food to stop his fainting spells, however, the problem was there were many mouths to feed, not very much money, and this was only one person, they simply could not attend to this individuals specific needs. This was a constant problem the MDC faced when needing to provide these survivors with basic amenities such as food, clothes, blankets and clothes; there were simply no funds.
Thankfully, they were in contact with many organizations who were better set up for this kind of a situation, and were able to connect needy individuals with these organizations. For example, all hospital bills were paid for by specific organizations; and many who originally arrived at MDC's doorstep were sent to alternative lodging provided by these organizations where they would be provided with food, blankets and clothes - three very necessary very basic things that the MDC could not adequately provide. This was a positive thing, however, organizing the specifics of these opportunities took longer than would be desired, leaving many still at the office with basic needs not met.
In addition to this spot being unsafe, and without adequate amenities it is also unsanitary - there are no bathing facilities in the MDC headquarters, as few office spaces do, therefore these individuals spend weeks without bathing, wearing the clothes they escaped with weeks before. A mother I talked with showed me her one year old baby who she had no pants or bottoms of any kind for. Because of the lack of bathing, having 500+ individuals living in an enclosed space at any rate creates high risk for disease of all kinds, specifically cholera and TB. Some children had been sent to the hospital for respiratory infections and diarrhea.
By the time I visited the offices, at least a month after individuals started pouring in, the floors were covered in dirt, completely filthy as is represented in one of the photos I displayed here, the walls had become very grimy, the once well maintained office space had been transformed into a refugee camp. The lucky few who had belongings lined them along the wall; make shift beds were created with random pieces of wood and other found items; anything but what one would usually find as a part of a bed, such as blankets, no inhabitants of the Harvest House, the MDC headquarters, owned a blanket. Survivors taken in by civil society organizations and churches and those taken to hotels or to individual's homes at least had that luxury. However, in the increasingly cold winter nights the inhabitants of the MDC harvest house, including the elderly, women and children had to sleep on the cold, hard, filthy office floors with no blankets. Of all the tribulation residing at the Harvest House, what will forever stay with me is the smell that attacked any one who entered. Looking back, it was probably a very accurate smell for 500+ people living in very enclosed quarters for weeks without baths. I have withstood a lot of wretched smells, including a mountainous trash heap in Cambodia, but there was something very difficult to handle about this smell, maybe because it was the smell of neglect, one that could have very easily been avoided, and now festers, and this was the smell of the festering. For no individual can be neglected this much, maltreated this much without it starting to stink. Just like a dirty dish left alone for too long, it stinks, it grows mold, it fights back, it makes you take notice, makes you do something about it ( I apologize for comparing human lives to dirty dishes, found it a good analogy.). And, I believe, that is what this smell will do for me, for it has stayed with me, it is still a part of the back pack I used while there, it cries out in a way survivors cannot, for they are battered and beaten, their spirits weakened, their psyches tortured, their minds petrified; they no longer know who to trust to cry to if they have the will to cry at all. But this smell, it is the smoking gun of suffering in Zimbabwe, something that stays when all other evidence is hidden. Yes, indeed, the stones are crying out, they will not be concealed.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Interviews with injured individuals in MDC offices
This is one of many interviews I had with individuals who had experienced political violence in the rural areas in Mashonaland provinces. These interviews are quick, but are examples of the terror and intimidation that is going on currently in Zimbabwe, and it is getting worse. These were four individuals who I met in the MDC offices, who had fled their homes because of fear of further beatings or death. Many of these individuals are separated from their families and have no idea of their children/spouse's whereabouts. I will be posting more interviews later.
The allure of forgetfulness
I am safe here now, safe to write my thoughts and experiences freely, safe to sit in a coffee shop and browse whatever websites I see fit, to take pictures as I please, and enjoy my surroundings free of fear. A tension has been released, the general anxiety that comes with unfamiliarity and uncertainty has now subsided. I did not notice it as much then, but see it now in its absence. What scares me the most about that release is the freedom it gives me. With all society functioning pretty well here in the States, I can choose whether or not to be confronted with the dismal realities facing every day Zimbabweans, if for nothing else, the purpose of this trip was to know that reality for myself, and being there for only two weeks, staying only in the cities, I did not receive the full reality most experienced. I could still have a warm bed and a cooked meal to go home to every night, I could filter every story with my own experience and point of view. There was much that occurred that I was not aware of, that I filtered out, and I was there. Now, very far removed from the situation, I am faced with the ever present possibility of forgetting, seeing my experiences as another reality, a bad dream, something I do not have to know or do anything about if I do not want to.
Though the first request I received from most people while over there was money, the second, more sincere request was not to forget the people of
In past trips I have taken the forgetting happened gradually, with an initial fervor of re-orienting habits and inspiring action that convinced me and those around me that I was really doing something, that gradually waned, and became fewer and less noticeable, a change that was now only supported by an alternative perspective about the world around me, that would be highlighted in late night conversations, parties and social gatherings. A forgetting that occurred over time and so gradually that I did not even realize it had happened. However, this current threatened forgetting is nothing like the sleepy gradual disappearance of past trips. Instead, it is an upfront confrontation that has plagued me immediately and directly. It would be a conscious, active choice to forget, not simply the passive pursuit of every day life that seems to grasp gradually the individual’s attention, and eventually take full precedence and focus. Maybe it is because of their words that I realize this, that I now see the action for what it is, or am more aware of my inner thoughts and actions and therefore notice temptations for what they are when I wouldn’t have before. However, I still do not think that is why the invitation to forget this time is so noticeable and attractive. I believe there is something so difficult and painful in what I experienced and picked up, if not on a direct level, on a very intuitive and spiritual level that was so thick and so deep, I find myself searching hard for escape and release once it is available to me.
While I was there, there was an emotional separation that occurred within me, that kept me more intellectual and pragmatic about gathering and retaining information. I guess that was how my mind protected me from the state of overloaded emotions that would have crippled me and left me feeling helpless and hopeless and inhibited my progress. However, the feeling of desperation and fear was so deeply embedded in each individual that it seemed to permeate this desensitized hardened shell that I had built up during my time there. It was the force of this level of desperation and fear that dually inspires and suppresses me, that I try to escape now, that makes me want to forget. I want to forget because if I remember, I will have to deal with the chilling reality that in the country I once called my home, every day citizens are petrified sleeping in their own homes with their own families, because they fear that at any moment, they could be abducted; their houses burnt, their children displaced never to be seen again; a level of fear that I have never in my life experienced, and never want to experience. I think that is the most difficult part about this situation, having the realization that I have not experienced this, I do not have to, and because I do not have to I will not. It is a natural response, a human one, and in this case a wise one, but one that is very hard to deal with and will continue to haunt me for some time. It puts me in a position to maybe appreciate and to some degree hear or learn about another’s misgivings without ever really knowing what it is they went through, creating a large disparity in understanding, though I may do my best to connect, and sense what is going on. I will for now, remain simply an observer, a reporter of my experiences from my perspective, never to fully be able to know or communicate the depth of suffering that is occurring there right now. I went to see and I saw, but I will never fully know, and it is that gap of understanding I think I want to forget. Without realizing this large gap of experience and understanding, I would naturally filter my experience there to what I already know, naturally compare it to things I understand, and though I would realize their suffering is great, I may simply put it in the category of suffering I know. However, in realizing this gap and the complexity and depth of the need and pain that must reside within it, I get this constant unsettled, uneasy feeling that is hard to place and is very uncomfortable, that is hard to sit with. One that tells me I cannot have this feeling and do nothing, yet that also tells me whatever I do will not do the depth of their experience justice. It is this that I am left with, and it is this that often paralyzes me, that challenges me when I enjoy simple things like coffee and eating at a restaurant and expressing my opinions about the upcoming elections, and participate in protests and activism without being attacked, unfortunately there is still the possibility of arrest. I have to remember there are many people that cannot do this; and it is very hard to enjoy something when I know others cannot, when I know I escaped that situation, and am now free and safe. It is hard to swallow, it goes much further than appreciation, that is simply not enough. That notion actually very much frustrates me, that one would finally realize the luxuries and freedoms they have in comparison to another individual, and would go home, have a nice reflection and stop short at appreciation, seems to be doing a grave injustice to those that are suffering, seems almost like the grieved individual was used for the other’s positive feelings about her own situation. No, the realization of the gap and the appreciation needs to motivate the fortunate individual to ensure that all people receive as good or better than she has, but that rarely happens. We stop short at appreciation, we forget; we forget, we don’t hear, we don’t know because we know that in the knowing, in the remembering, in the listening we will be required to take great action, action that would disrupt our way of living, of enjoying, of surviving, we are scared of what that change would mean for us, we are scared that the task required of us would be too great, we feel inadequate and unable and overwhelmed, yes being overwhelmed is a large, natural deterrent, and so we do not try, we resist, we work to forget.
Yes, the forgetting this time would be overt and intentional, yet at the same time very easy and very desirable. It is a subtle trick evil uses to veil horrendous acts and normalize ignorance, keeping those with the tools to effect change sipping tea in their large lush gardens with walls, electric fences and oceans to protect them from any outside harm, while their critics sit safe at home in a coffee shop behind a computer free from the interpersonal effects a real face to face challenge might incur.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Election Results out
As many of you may know, the latest on the Zimbabwean struggle is that the results are out, however, Tsvangarai has been announced as having 2.4% less than the MDC calculated from the poll results. As many of you know, any party needs over 50% to win, making both qualify for a run off. There is a lot of contention around these results - Tsvangarai is faced with a tough decision - accept the fraudulent results to allow for a run off or protest the reslts, possibly giving up the presidency to Robert Mugabe. A run off will be very difficult for MDC, given the recent violence and intimidation. Good news though, is that the two factions of the MDC have now united, removing that hurdle from the party. To really enter into the discussion and learn about the details of the release of these results, I have found some good news links I suggest you visit:
http://www.itv.com/News/Articles/Zimbabwe-poll-results-contested-687238872.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7381668.stm
http://www.swradioafrica.com/news020508/results020508.htm
This one is particularly interesting as it points out that when the MDC and ZANU PF came together for the verification exercise, Zanu PF brought forth 120,ooo more votes for Mugabe than MDC, though they had the same percentage. When checked, Tsvangarai's percentage had been reduced by that same amount, which would have given him the 50.3 % he claimed he had...hmmm...I guess that doesn't surprise any of us.
There are a lot of things Mugabe and Zanu PF can do with these re-runs in order to ensure victory, while making it seem like they were honorable in the first run of elections. It is decently tactful and dirty. Seems like mass trickery, continued violence, intimidation and rigging will be Zanu PF's tactics for the re run. Tough decisions lay ahead for the MDC and activists, I don't think that this tough decision was placed upon them by accident, I think it was very well thought out by Zanu PF, its the very position they wanted to put the MDC in, and it may make them "look better", if that is possible, than if they outright rigged and then won elections in the first place.
Those are my thoughts, other thoughts of concerned individuals and activiss lie here:
http://www.sokwanele.com/thisiszimbabwe/archives/934.
Personally, I still feel very much on the sidelines, still pursuing most of my activism on the internet, knowing there is so much more to be done than what I am able to do right now. I am dealing with the frustrating reality that I am here pretty late in the game, a lot has been established already, and there is less than one with my lack of experience in the situation can do at this point than I would like to admit. The good part of that reality is that there are very knowledgeable, dedicated, thoughtful individuals in this struggle all over the world pulling for Zimbabwe, reminds me of the level of solidarity behind the anti-apartheid movement, which I wasn't at an age to be a part of, so it is exciting to be a part of this...though at the same time, frustrated that this level of response is needed for change to happen in any struggling country, frustrated that this extreme level of collapse and human atrocities are needed to get people's attention, including mine, frustrated that all of this solidarity still hasn't managed to change this situation and frustrated that despite all this most people, even more aware individuals in its neighboring country stop short of reading the news and discussing it over tea, and otherwise going on with life as usual; the explanation of why I am here seems to bring this into the discussion, and there's of bit of "shame hey" and this and that, and everyone agrees about how horrible it is, but there seems to be little action. I understand poorer individuals, who must spend their time and efforts making a living an raising a family; some of whom actually do find the time to devote to this movement, but I am frustrated with those who have the time, money and education to know to get involved, and still don't. On the flip side, one of the individuals I am working with, Rev. Mufaro, a dual citizen of South Africa and Zimbabwe works at an accounting firm, send most of his money back to family and friends in Zimbabwe, and then spends his remaining time transporting other activists around and updating his 41 blogs on the Zimbabwe situation. Stories like that encourage me, which pushes me past the frustration of the other types I mentioned above.
I spent 3 hours in a line exchanging currency today...the interesting thing about this was that once we pulled out our passports I noticed that most of the people in the room had Zimbabwean ones--mostly exchanging dollars or pounds to rand. I dually had the strong desire to talk to the people around me about their experience, and the hesitation that I did not know who I would be talking to and how to elicit the level of conversation I desired without making the person suspicious etc. In the end I simply received answers like," It is quiet in Bulawayo...the media has exaggerated the violence..etc" I guess that is conversation that can be expected in line to a stranger at the bank, I just had this dream that we would have this great conversation about how they had to flee from Zimbabwe due to threats, evictions or violence. They simply said they were on holiday and were heading back to Zimbabwe soon. But that was a more realistic response; now I am planning on contacting journalists, asking them what kinds of things to say, where to say them - to ensure utmost safety for myself and the individual giving the information and how to gain trust while not unintentionally abusing it. I do plan on heading into Zimbabwe soon. An organization I am in conversation with - CADEGO is currently in Francis Town, Botswana, the route I have planned on going into Zimbabwe - Francistown to Bulawayo, so I plan on heading to Francistown Monday or Tuesday, and to Pretoria tomorrow, to see what effect I can make there.
I have been in touch with a very active group called the Zimbabwe Revolutionary Movement here in Johannesburg; whose leader, Simon Mudekwa and others have recently been in jail , in South Africa, for protesting outside the Chinese embassy in Pretoria. There was word that the police used tear gas in this incident. They have big plans - going to Tanzania to talk to the President of the AU, going to Botswana and Zambia and talking to their leaders, while continuing rallies and demonstrations, they seem to have in depth tactics in the works, and I look forward to learning more about them once I am able to get to know them more, they are able to trust me more etc. I haven't been able to plug into this as directly as I want to. Once again, I am not sure what I was expecting, as they have been doing this for quite some time, are very experienced, and might not have something an inexperienced individual can directly plug into. This could come with time. For now I plan on keeping in touch with them, asking them to update me on ways I can get involved -- letting them know what I am up to, and learning from them. In addition, they are in conversation with many people in Zimbabwe who I can be in conversation with once I get there.
So, my plan is to head to Francistown soon, spend a bit of time there and then spend some time in Bulawayo, and then over to Harare; while open to other developments from the organizations, groups I am in conversation with, racking my brain as to the best way I can make an impact, given the talented individuals already invested in the struggle.
This entry was more of a run on rambling rant. I plan on having more journalistic style entries as well, while seeing my personal perspective and experiences as essential to communicate as well. I will be posting pictures and other info. as it comes up...and may actually end up having another blog that is more on the informational/journalistic side. I will send you a link to that when I set it up.
http://www.itv.com/News/Articles/Zimbabwe-poll-results-contested-687238872.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7381668.stm
http://www.swradioafrica.com/news020508/results020508.htm
This one is particularly interesting as it points out that when the MDC and ZANU PF came together for the verification exercise, Zanu PF brought forth 120,ooo more votes for Mugabe than MDC, though they had the same percentage. When checked, Tsvangarai's percentage had been reduced by that same amount, which would have given him the 50.3 % he claimed he had...hmmm...I guess that doesn't surprise any of us.
There are a lot of things Mugabe and Zanu PF can do with these re-runs in order to ensure victory, while making it seem like they were honorable in the first run of elections. It is decently tactful and dirty. Seems like mass trickery, continued violence, intimidation and rigging will be Zanu PF's tactics for the re run. Tough decisions lay ahead for the MDC and activists, I don't think that this tough decision was placed upon them by accident, I think it was very well thought out by Zanu PF, its the very position they wanted to put the MDC in, and it may make them "look better", if that is possible, than if they outright rigged and then won elections in the first place.
Those are my thoughts, other thoughts of concerned individuals and activiss lie here:
http://www.sokwanele.com/thisiszimbabwe/archives/934.
Personally, I still feel very much on the sidelines, still pursuing most of my activism on the internet, knowing there is so much more to be done than what I am able to do right now. I am dealing with the frustrating reality that I am here pretty late in the game, a lot has been established already, and there is less than one with my lack of experience in the situation can do at this point than I would like to admit. The good part of that reality is that there are very knowledgeable, dedicated, thoughtful individuals in this struggle all over the world pulling for Zimbabwe, reminds me of the level of solidarity behind the anti-apartheid movement, which I wasn't at an age to be a part of, so it is exciting to be a part of this...though at the same time, frustrated that this level of response is needed for change to happen in any struggling country, frustrated that this extreme level of collapse and human atrocities are needed to get people's attention, including mine, frustrated that all of this solidarity still hasn't managed to change this situation and frustrated that despite all this most people, even more aware individuals in its neighboring country stop short of reading the news and discussing it over tea, and otherwise going on with life as usual; the explanation of why I am here seems to bring this into the discussion, and there's of bit of "shame hey" and this and that, and everyone agrees about how horrible it is, but there seems to be little action. I understand poorer individuals, who must spend their time and efforts making a living an raising a family; some of whom actually do find the time to devote to this movement, but I am frustrated with those who have the time, money and education to know to get involved, and still don't. On the flip side, one of the individuals I am working with, Rev. Mufaro, a dual citizen of South Africa and Zimbabwe works at an accounting firm, send most of his money back to family and friends in Zimbabwe, and then spends his remaining time transporting other activists around and updating his 41 blogs on the Zimbabwe situation. Stories like that encourage me, which pushes me past the frustration of the other types I mentioned above.
I spent 3 hours in a line exchanging currency today...the interesting thing about this was that once we pulled out our passports I noticed that most of the people in the room had Zimbabwean ones--mostly exchanging dollars or pounds to rand. I dually had the strong desire to talk to the people around me about their experience, and the hesitation that I did not know who I would be talking to and how to elicit the level of conversation I desired without making the person suspicious etc. In the end I simply received answers like," It is quiet in Bulawayo...the media has exaggerated the violence..etc" I guess that is conversation that can be expected in line to a stranger at the bank, I just had this dream that we would have this great conversation about how they had to flee from Zimbabwe due to threats, evictions or violence. They simply said they were on holiday and were heading back to Zimbabwe soon. But that was a more realistic response; now I am planning on contacting journalists, asking them what kinds of things to say, where to say them - to ensure utmost safety for myself and the individual giving the information and how to gain trust while not unintentionally abusing it. I do plan on heading into Zimbabwe soon. An organization I am in conversation with - CADEGO is currently in Francis Town, Botswana, the route I have planned on going into Zimbabwe - Francistown to Bulawayo, so I plan on heading to Francistown Monday or Tuesday, and to Pretoria tomorrow, to see what effect I can make there.
I have been in touch with a very active group called the Zimbabwe Revolutionary Movement here in Johannesburg; whose leader, Simon Mudekwa and others have recently been in jail , in South Africa, for protesting outside the Chinese embassy in Pretoria. There was word that the police used tear gas in this incident. They have big plans - going to Tanzania to talk to the President of the AU, going to Botswana and Zambia and talking to their leaders, while continuing rallies and demonstrations, they seem to have in depth tactics in the works, and I look forward to learning more about them once I am able to get to know them more, they are able to trust me more etc. I haven't been able to plug into this as directly as I want to. Once again, I am not sure what I was expecting, as they have been doing this for quite some time, are very experienced, and might not have something an inexperienced individual can directly plug into. This could come with time. For now I plan on keeping in touch with them, asking them to update me on ways I can get involved -- letting them know what I am up to, and learning from them. In addition, they are in conversation with many people in Zimbabwe who I can be in conversation with once I get there.
So, my plan is to head to Francistown soon, spend a bit of time there and then spend some time in Bulawayo, and then over to Harare; while open to other developments from the organizations, groups I am in conversation with, racking my brain as to the best way I can make an impact, given the talented individuals already invested in the struggle.
This entry was more of a run on rambling rant. I plan on having more journalistic style entries as well, while seeing my personal perspective and experiences as essential to communicate as well. I will be posting pictures and other info. as it comes up...and may actually end up having another blog that is more on the informational/journalistic side. I will send you a link to that when I set it up.
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